Today is Boyfriend's birthday!!

Today is Boyfriend's birthday.

We bought him two milk chocolate candy bars. One box of Andes. One box of Anne's chocolate covered cherries.

Yes, he is on a diet.

For Thanksgiving, I had to make a ham AND a turkey. (kid wanted turkey, boyfriend only likes ham)

No problem....

I turned on the potatoes to boil on the back burner. Except I actually turned on the front burner. And left a pot lid on it.

(Dont judge-I have those electric coils that you can't tell which one is lit. Unless you read which dial you're turning. And I was stressed, ok?)

So I went back to check on the very cold potatoes twenty minutes later. And discovered I'd been heating up the stove on the front burner w/ a lid on it to trap in all that extra heat for 20 minutes.

Turning the stove... Black.

The next night, I made Swedish Apple Pie. (And it is fucking DELICIOUS. Except I don't actually eat that. So I just take everyone's word for it.)

I left the plastic mixing bowl on top of the stove while the apple pie was burning.

So some yellow plastic was burned onto a different coil burner this time.

And my mixing bowl is now gone.

My father being here has been horrific.

Boyfriend complained for the first 3 days about the heater being on so high all day long and how he's a "prisoner" in his own room 24-7 because he cant bear to come out into the sauna. (Yeah, my dad gets migraines in the cold)

Then my dad borrowed the car. And rolled down the window. The window that cannot be rolled down. So first Boyfriend bitched to me about how I'M gonna hafta come up w/ the $400 to fix the rotor HE broke.

Then the men fixed it. Together.

My father's stuff is everywhere.

EVERYWHERE.

It's invading every crevice.

And I had no idea how much dirty dishes one person could create.

And my father bought a table & chairs for us from Kmart for Thanksgiving. Because he didn't want to eat on the floor again.

Boyfriend was not thankful.

It wasn't the dining set he'd imagined.

But a folding table & chairs is better than nothing.

I'm thankful I have a job. To escape to. Even tho I deal w/ crazies there too. I'm still new enuf that my coworkers who've been there longer hafta deal w/ it all.

And I get to come home and deal w/ the madness here.

We have two new gorgeous guinea pig babies. Lily & Deb. Pix to come.

Boyfriend's sneaking up on me now to see what all the typin's about.

Love.

New News

Hoo-Ray for us: My daddy's getting picked up from the airport, as I type!!

(NO I am not picking him up Silly. I do not go over bridges. They were not made by God. God does not intend for me to traverse over his great plains of water. I try not to defy God more than I already have.)

(edited note: Boyfriend just called me to say there is NO bridge from Beaverton to PDX. I don't believe him. He thinks he can trick me.)

On Wednesday, We are going to look at/pick up some new babies for the house!!!!

This is one of the possible future inmates family members!!

She's KILLIN us over the pix, its so hilarious! She looks like a lil mop or something!

LOL She looks like a CARTOON!!

Except for all the obvious, things are going GREAT.

BTW, me and my master-chef skills shall be making Thanksgiving feast.

Ham. AND. Turkey.

Because Boyfriend doesn't eat turkey.

And Child HAS TO HAVE turkey on thanksgiving.

(Let's hope I don't burn anything)

I hate tears

We're giving back the ferret tonight that we bought earlier in the week.

Apparently, ferrets STINK. Who knew? Oohhh right... my parents mentioned it.

Peanut will be forever missed. He is insane and out of control and loving and hyper and playful and adorable.

He IS the animal version of my daughter.

Thank goodness, next weekend Peanut will be replaced with guinea pigs. A lady a mile away has a litter of guinea babies and we'll be visiting her shortly.

The responsibility of an animal? Priceless.

Apparently, I love to be tortured animals and the infinite piles of poo joys of caring for them.

My boyfriend has stated that we'll be cleaning the house meticulously tonight. Like top to bottom. Especially vacuuming and sweeping and mopping.

Went like this:
Me: But we don't have a mop.

Boyfriend: Then we'll need to get on the floor and clean by hand.

Me: When you say "we"......

Boyfriend: We'll do it together.

Me: But you haven't cleaned ONCE since we've moved in.

Boyfriend: This really needs to get done. The ferret has stunk the place up.

Me: Once again... Who exactly is "WE"???

Boyfriend: TOGETHER baby.

I truly think he thinks that by "directing" me to do something, he's somehow fucking participated.

I will never understand how men think they don't need to clean ANYTHING at all. (I pray if I ever have a son, I don't force him to be my servant so that he won't end up like all the other men in the world.) My father is coming on Monday to visit. Yay.

Kid told boyfriend today "How come my mom ONLY dates guys who have no brothers or sisters and who's dads have died?"

This next part was at the top, but i put it at the bottom. Read if you wish. It's just so lovely to vent sometimes.

My dad sent me a link to a "news story" basically about a 10 year old, out of control 5th grader, who gets tased by a cop. And it makes my heart so sad. And I know exactly how that mother feels. I KNOW. I know how she felt when FOR HOURS her child screamed and kicked and hollered and attacked. God, I know. I won't post the link here. It just basically says the cop came and the kid did the same to him so he tased her and then she behaved. The mom called the cops herself. Fyi, I have the phone number to my local police posted by mirror. For this same situation. Where I cry and look at the paper and pray to God asking what to do.

There MUST be like a support group. I HAVE the books. And I know we're not alone. It's just SO hard to go thru it. And not everyone is blessed enough to gain advice and help. My heart absolutely breaks for that mom.

But anyway, MY monster is doing pretty wonderful. Pretty wonderful. Communication combined with discipline is probably the key. Patience is also, but I've had bucket truck landmine-loads of that for years. And not discipline like spanking. Discipline like planned out EVERYTHING. We have plans for how to get up, what to do when getting up, what to do afterward, .... what to do when to get home... even what to do when wanting to play or wanting to go online. And we have these plans written out for regular days and holiday/weekends as well.

When I had my baby, I thought the 2 of us would be free spirits, coming and going as we pleased.... Who knew that I'd have the baby who couldn't handle being anything NEAR a free spirit.

How to get your 11-year old to make her own sandwich

Steps to tricking your junior high spawn to making their very own sandwich

1. Make them a tuna sandwich.

2. Put leftover tuna salad into fridge.

3. Announce to boyfriend (whom child despises) that there is leftover tuna in fridge for his lunch.

4. Leave house for 30 min to carpool to work.

5. Boyfriend returns home to tuna salad dish in sink with bread bag open on counter.

6. Ask Child what happened to tuna/ Did she enjoy her 2nd tuna sandwich?

7. Have wide-eyed child proclaim vigorously that she DID NOT ever "eat" the leftover tuna. (Will never admit to not "stealing" or "taking" tuna)

TA-DA!!!

For my next trick, I will leave some vacuuming for Boyfriend to do.

A New Day

Boyfriend searched for jobs.

Has mass-interview w/ Christmas Tree lot company. Are you f-ing kidding me?Yay.

I'm reading American God by Neil Gaiman.

I gotta give it up to Boyfriend. He normally only picks out pubescent girly tween goth bullshit sure knows how to pick a good book! I'm tot enraptured. For realz. It's verrry strange.

Tomorrow (or the day after) I'll get chest xrayed. To make sure there is no TB in them there hills.

I googled TB & this is what tb does to people?--->

I'm fairly sure I definitely do NOT have that.

And.......... Next Monday.............7 short days...............

Poppy (aka MY DAD) comes to town!!!!!!!

WOOT!!

He's my savior. He'll eat my Thanksgiving turkey (even if it's burned)He'll take Kid to her first pro basketball game (Go Portland Trailblazers!) and he'll be here to guide me to whether I'll go ALONE to my new job's holiday party at the zoo, whilst Boyfriend heads to California for a week for a "family reunion".

Kid has been doing FANTABULOUS ever since the cops showed. She's been takin her meds and behavin all over the place. Good thing. I'm very close to a nervous breakdown. But with Poppy comin, It's like all my worries have an end date!!! However... Poppy's only staying for two weeks. =(

All good things must come to an end. (Till he returns in March for good)

I used to hate my dad. For no good reason.

I think he tries to be logical. And I exist only in an emotional realm.

Nowadays, however... He's the only man I know I'll love & trust completely forever.

Although... Boyfriend's certainly been proving himself in ways I never imagined he'd hafta suffer thru.

Sometimes... Life suprises you.

In good, and in bad, ways.

My milkshake brings all the cops to the yard

So, Lots of fun things have been going on.

I did get a new job, and have been working hard there.

I'm struggling to get to know everyone and not F&#k up because everyone else there seems to be annoyingly perfectionistic flawless.

They didn't TELL me I'd need a car to do their evil bidding/run errands like a bitch get occassional supplies for the office... I was plannin on bussin' it everyday... So we were forced to finally bow down to the man and hand over our life savings get car insurance.

OH, and then Boyfriend got laid off at Hell work. And then the state sent him a letter saying they're really gonna fuck him his disability is getting cancelled as well.

OH, and then my TB test came out negative, meaning I have a horrible, deadly communicable disease and am gonna get fired to get a chest x-ray on Tuesday.

OH, and then child threw a tantrum on Friday night. And the noisy, stomping, screaming, good for nothing neighbors called the cops.

And then the child told the cops that a few weeks ago, during another tantrum, we pushed her and she hit her head

(Dont fkng judge. You don't know what happened, You aren't there when Kid throws herself around like the Exorcist).

Boyfriend and I are upset. Boyfriend was slightly more upset than me. Ok, boyfriend was beside himself.

 Boyfriend's stepdad has been in prison for over a decade for murder after his girl friend's kid died under his care. And stepdad supposedly did NOT kill the kid. Even took him to the e.r......

I can only imagine boyfriend saw himself getting anally raped going to prison forever, all because he was unfortunate enough to get involved with a psychopath like myself who comes with her own junior psychopath Kid throws herself around like a maniac and beats us up during tantrums. The female cop advised boyfriend that she can't arrest kid for beating us up until she turns 13. At 13, if kid is still doing this, I'll probably end up going to the hospital. Kid has got STRENGTH.

So we've got MAJOR kid control goin on now.

OH, P.S. The tantrum started cuz Kid thinks she doesn't hafta tell us where she's playing at, and that it's perfectly o.k. to play with boys (even tho boyfriend caught one of said boys smokin the ganja a few months ago).

OH, and I AM nervous about Child Protective Services. And having to take time off of work to deal with this stuff. I hafta get Kid into counseling like THIS WEEK. I imagine my conversation at work will go something like this:
Oh Hi New Boss. I hafta take off the afternoon tomorrow. I know I have TB. And haven't fully learned my job yet, so someone else is still doing double-duty. But the state thinks I beat my kid, so I need to go plead/prove that she still belongs in my home where she beats me up for an hour or two if she doesnt get her way.

Boyfriend needs to get a job so we can pay our bills.... And buy Christmas presents...

Kid has been obnoxiously bugging asking recently for a hamster, which then transformed into a guinea pig. Boyfriend became o.k. with the guinea pig idea. But then went to Petco (while he was spending time alone trying to figure out if he would kill himself how to deal with kid now) and discovered that he'd prefer if Kid got a FERRET instead of a guinea pig. My dad however, has been advising Kid that ferrets piss everywhere. As if Kid CARES about piss she's never gonna clean up??????

So today ALL of us are goin to Petco to look at the ferrets/ guinea pigs, and decide which one Kid will get for Christmas.

With our multi single income.

Lots more fun stuff has happened. But this is long enough and detailed enough. It's obvious we just need prayer and wine and time.

Kid is doing wonderful. She is back on her meds. We will see how the next few weeks go. She understands she's not a wild dog and can't just go outside and play willy-nilly where we don't know where she is.

Happy Sunday

Back before the kid was stronger than me...

Kid threw a horrible tantrum today and friday.

But today's ended with her being all rational and clear-headed and well-spoken. WTF. Who's kid is that???

THANK GOD.

And I got a job. I take the piss tests, etc, tomorrow. And then, boyfriend's job stated they're going under and everyone should get another job within the next 6 months.

Because God hates me.

And then I wrote on Facebook "Apparently God & I don't have the same sense of humor" and one of my high school friends commented "that doesn't suprise me".

And I'm pissed about that. Cuz fuck her. I pray better than her. Who does she think she is.

And my scrapbooking attempts have been comin out UGLY.

I'm just stressed.

Oh, and I have to start taking the bus to work. Get up at 5ish, Get Kid ready for school including making breakfast & lunch for Kid, Leave Kid home alone, Walk IN RAIN to bus stop.

Dear God, Pray for us. 

Tonight we're going to Payless to get some rain boots for myself and kid...

Inmates save deputy's life

Here's a story about how these inmates came to the rescue of a 64 year old prison guard. You can even watch the freakin VIDEO of the attack.

I don't know why it brings tears to my eyes.

Maybe because when I dated a former convict, who did go back to prison, and I visited him for 2 years, and then married him when he got out, I received LOTS of criticism.

What really needs to be criticized in today's world is our justice system.

Some of these people need to be locked up, away from being able to harm others.

And some of them... some of them will save your life.

Not all criminals have no moral compass.

P.S. there are NO VICTIM-LESS CRIMES.
every time a criminal is caught, he as already done that crime a minimum of THREE times!!

This is why I rock

I've been stressed, and have therefore taken up at least one of my old crafty ways: Scrapbooking.

Boyfriend says he doesn't know anyone who scrapbooks, he thought only old maids did that.

However, he says it laughing and says I'm so cute.

I say I don't know anyone who scrapbooks either, but everyone's just hella jealous. They wish they had awesome pic books like me.

Fuck, it beats doing drugs.

On a more awesome note:

A few weeks ago, I discovered, whilst looking thru my sent emails, that at least HALF of the job listings I was responding to.... I had forgotten to attach my resume.

I didn't tell anyone. I just started to pay WAY MORE attention.

Yeah, soooo yesterday, I let the child borrow my phone because she had a school party afterschool and I wanted her to have a phone in case of emergency...

I realized (after calling her to tell her where we were parked) that...

I have no voicemail set up.

That's right. In case you needed to call me and set up an interview for my non-resumed application? Or hire me for one of those awful interviews I did go on???

Yeah. You couldn't have reached me anyway.

I'm not a huge idiot (apparently I actually am), but when I changed my phone number a few months ago to have an Oregon area code, my voicemail was wiped out at that time.

Boyfriend wasn't happy.

He left me my first voicemail.

It went something like this:

Hi there! This is a prospective employer calling to offer you a position. But since you have no voicemail, and we have no way of reaching you, we're gonna go ahead and offer that job to someone else. Better luck next time! Dumbass.

I'm not sure what's going on. I feel so dumb. I mean when I discovered I had no voicemail, I told boyfriend, who said Yeah... I know. But he hadn't put 2 and 2 together. So I blamed him.

I'm normally not this absent minded.

I learned a long time ago, Relapse is actually the set of behaviors you exhibit (your addict behaviors) right before you actually use again.

I'm starting to worry that this is my relapse. I think about using a lot. When I used, I would make the stupidest mistakes. I know I'm not low enough to use at this point. And I know I wouldn't ruin my relationship for it again. But someone needs to tell my mind and body to get fuckin with it.

This is why I moved to Oregon.

Facebook & Fred Meyers

Sooo the boyfriend's job is like an outsourced company that answers Sprint customer service calls.... But they suck. They did their shit wrong. The turnover rate is like 80% or something.

So Sprint's probably going to shut it down.

Do we know what that means??? It means our late rent is going to turn into NO rent.

In the meantime.... boyfriend's not happy. Plus, while he's still there, he gets all Sprint's VERY ANGRY customer calls.

Can I say it's Sprint, since I don't actually work there? Or should I say "shall-remain-nameless-suck-ass-phone-company" ?

Truth be told I've heard bad words about T-Mobile, ATT, Verizon, & Sprint. Soo.... try Boost?

Last night, I was annoyed because he states that we're going to pay rent late (incurring $75 fee) because payday isnt till end of week and the car payment has to go in first.

Why? Because the car is in his bitch ass motherfucking piece of shit worthless blood sucking mother's name also. And she'll "tow" the car if it's not paid on time. She won't HELP and loan us money till the end of the week.

(Update: MY mom is going to give us the money to help us out. AGAIN. even though she's a single gal tryin to live on her own. AGAIN she's helping me. I probably owe that bitch like 4 grand. Know how much we owe boyfriend's mom?? NADA. Cuz she's a cunt who won't loan us money for 3 fukin days! Seriously. This is $150 we're talking about. That bitch is NOT invited to my wedding.)

I decided I am not wrong in determining I am not going to have that woman in my life ever. So I rolled over, angry, refusing to "talk" anymore.

Boyfriend said: "You are mean."

Apparently he's still in 2nd grade. And it cut deep.

So today I've sent out 3-4 more resumes (even though what I'd like to be doing is getting pregnant and cooking & scrapbooking) and I'm currently in the Fred Meyer site trying to apply. Although it's kicked me out 3 times so far, so apparently it's an omen.

Facebook's annoying me. I think their games are getting more popular, so trying to play is an exercise in patiently reloading over & over. Boyfriend thinks it's lame I go on Facebook to reconnect with old friends grow crops, decorate houses and grow fish. Recently TWO different people called my living room in Yoville a porn pad!! Personally, I think it's my retro 70's glasses.

Boyfriend also is currently upset I'm not studying up on Arcane Legions so I can actually play with him, so boyfriend's credibility is nil.

And now I'm tryin to remember if I posted pix of my little arguing spawn pixie.

I'm a good mom so there she is. In all her sugar glory. She's separating out the candy she's keeping for herself and the candy she's giving to my boyfriend. Guess which pile is hers?

Please God Let me get a job!