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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Take your pills children

I dont want to type, but always hallucinate I'm blogging.

I do re-writes and edits.

It's sick I know.

Essentially, for the past 10 days or so, I've been missing/skipping 1 of the 2 doses of my daily meds. Not on purpose. I forget.

I have to take it with food (Lithium alone = gut wrenching pain & light-headedness), and I don't usually eat until lunch or dinner.

Having said that.... Not taking Lithium correctly... Well folks, it's not recommended.

Example A: Boyfriend takes kid and I to Dollar Tree for Halloween cards for our few remaining loved ones in California, and then to Winco to buy remaining grocery list and pumpkins to carve! (No time till the last minute, right??)
In portland, it seems to have always rained just a little bit earlier, so the roads are always kinda wet.... And boyfriend's driving.. well it aint so good. And Kid? She seems to not have the Mute button on her mouth once again.
I thought I was going to throw myself out of the car, or walk home before we even got to the 1st store. I kept saying "IM NOT IN THE MOOOD", but they didn't seem to get it.

Much later, I did tell boyfriend about missed doses and he immediately backed off. In Fear.
But, I couldn't tell them while i was IN my mini-attack, because I could just FEEL the TEARS right at the ducts, just waiting for me to say something about my fragile emotional state so they could POUR out everywhere, giving away my secret of lack of control over my OWN DAMN EMOTIONS.

I had a job interview today.
IT WENT SOOOO WELL.

But the people put me in a room by myself for a few minutes before they came in to interview me.

I almost left. It was horrid. I was doubled over and rocking. I was soo nervous.

I DID learn my lesson.

Today, I ate daughter's bagel for breakfast so I could cram my pills into my gullet.

And I took the 2nd dose at dinner time, when i would NORMALLY be just remembering my 1st dose!!!

Yay for me!!!

Maybe by next week, I'll be back to myself, and I won't think boyfriend doesn't love me anymore. (I mean, does everyone's boyfriends play with themselves on such a regular basis???)

p.s. He's quite the little computer buff, so if he figures out my password, which i need to remember to change right now, or my site address, then HI HONEY, I LOVE YOU.

2 comments:

Melissa Mescalero said...

Preach sister. Many people don't know: Courtney Love or El Duce didn't kill Kurt Cobain: non-compliance with meds did. And I am soo not saying you're gonna die. But I missed my Seroquel once in the morning, had a meeting with my shrink, threw orange peels at her, flung her prescription pad and told her to "go fetch" and for some reason I got really anti-Semetic.

But I'm glad you're staying well. Hi-five!!

Secretia said...

Drugs can mess up up in a short time.

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