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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Not dead yet!

Sooooooo I'm STILL sick. I have officially been in Oregon 5 1/2 weeks, and have been sick all but ONE of those weeks. WEAK. My old coworker says my immune system took a hit from the stress of the move. I'm apt to believe her. Cuz otherwise, I'd have swine flu. And I don't. I never had a fever. I had one week of really feelin allright, and then daughter woke me up at 5:30 a.m. coughing all over me.

I've given myself till the end of this week to be better. I'm mostly better. I still have this cough, as if I'm still a smoker. In fact, if I still smoked, this would all make sense!

Apparently swine flu is going around boyfriend's work. Like REAL bad. Even one employee DIED from it. So they're shuttin the place down this weekend to decontaminate. But until then, everyone just has to keep workin. And boyfriend was a premie so he has a weak immune system, so if he gets it, it's CURTAINS! Except... the guy who sits next to him actually is HIV positive, so HE'S super-pissed! If they miss any work, they get fired. Soooooo..... go to work... possibly die.... What more can you ask for for $10/hour right?

So thus far in Oregon, I have.... bombed two interviews MISERABLY.

The most important thing is: I'm learning to deal with my jealousy issues. I get so psycho mad at boyfriend..... But it's my issues that are causing it. My husband left me 14 months ago. Just decided to not be with me anymore. And because of him, I have doubt in all men.

Boyfriend got a card from California. And damnitall if it wasn't all addressed to him in a GIRL'S handwriting. It took everything I had not to open it...... Thank God it was hours before he came home.... I just had to learn to TRUST him and to trust that he loves ME. It was from his old church group in Calif.

I have to learn to let go and to allow him to have a past and to have friends and acquaintances. It's honestly taking quite a bit.

But.. he's pretty awesome. Like a golden retriever. Every morning wakes up and tells me he loves me.

We have this apartment. And his mom put down an additional $350 pet fee deposit (so i was told) when boyfriend moved in.... First we had boyfriend's two dogs, but they didn't like it here, so they went back to cali to be w/ wicked mother. Then we had my two dogs, but one of my dogs.... well he just wasn't quite right... And we didn't have the money to take him to the vet to take care of his skin condition, blah blah blah. So we took him to the humane society (which has a 99% adoption rate), so hopefully he'll find his place with a really old woman.

So I was cleaning (I do this from time to time, however this time i was doing it cuz i was moving kid to her own room!!!), and in our walk in closet, our laundry pile had piled up to about 3 feet high.... I did ALL the laundry (thanks to my momma who put money in my bank account!), and in the BACK of the walk in closet......... it smelled like some dog had peed... and then died. It was rank. I threw two sheets away.... But my good friend in Cali had given me a "Real" baby doll (one of those $400 kind, I'm including a pic. Dont be jealous. You know you want a fake doll that looks, feels, & weighs just like a real baby too) and the baby had somehow gotten up in the mix and had like... mold growing on it....
Yeah. It was the nasties. So I lit a candle in there to help with the stank. Then when I was done, I took the candle out. And it spilled a little. Dear God. My cranberry candle spilled on the beige carpet. Boyfriend had just bought me this candle as part of a Get Well gift. I let the wax harden on the carpet... Hopefully I can just cut it out later. When I feel better.

We're NEVER getting back the deposits, are we?
However... All in all... in the grand scheme of things..... I haven't cut myself. Kid hasn't thrown any tantrums really. Things are going REALLY well. For someone who doesn't have a car, or any money, or any tie to any outside civilization...
Oh, and I love you too.


Anonymous said...

That's a tough couple of days. Surely it will get a lot better!

Secretia (Secret Story Time)

Harlem's A Hatin said...

Get well soooon! Being sick sucks.


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