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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The low-down on Fat

O.k., so here goes. This is a long blog. But I have to put it down in writing so it's down and over with.

I am so inspired by others.

I have always said that I NEVER lose weight.
In fact, the only time my weight ever went DOWN was when I was daily using methamphetamine (that's speed -- an illegal narcotic, for all you non-addicts out there).

My bestest friend's wedding was September 12th and I was a bridesmaid. We were fitted for our dresses in June. At that time the bridal shop said my measurements were for either a size 18 or 20. My best friend looked at me and said "Well, do you plan on losing weight before the wedding?". I said "My body NEVER loses weight". We opted for the size 20.
Throughout June and July, I was homeless, living in my other "best" friend's living room. I was so stressed out living there, and my impending out-of-state move, that I could not force myself to eat dinners. I ended up losing 15 lbs. A first in my life.
In August, when I picked up my dress, it was 2 sizes too big. Cuz I love spending money I don't have, especially on last-minute alterations for the first time in my life.

On Sept 12th (that's right, I left FROM the wedding), I moved to Oregon w/ my child, boyfriend, & his best friend. With the exception of my beautiful child, we are all grossly overweight.

My boyfriend has taken up EA Active on the Wii. The EA Active on the Wii SUCKS.
His best friend states he'll take up the gym when he can afford it. States "you're not gonna catch him sweating in his underwear in his living room".
My boyfriend even buys light mayonnaise and carrots & celery for snacks. He had gastric bypass few years ago. He thinks his stomach has stretched back out now as if he never had it though. He wants to buy a new scale due to mine only going up to 300. I told him NO!!!! You lose weight!!!

I'm already bipolar. I'm in a new place, with no job, no friends, no money. The boys currently work from noon to 10pm. I'm alone all day... Getting the motivation to do anything, diet or workout, is rough. I don't even have the motivation to do the things I actually NEED to do.

As previously blogged, I hate the wii. But I've discovered fitness videos on youtube. Very cool. I just need to do a few a day. Especially until I can afford to get a bike.
Another girl's blog reccommends the site: Nutrimirror.com to moniter calories, etc. Also, on ExHotGirl's blog she has a weight loss ticker. I'm totally adding that to my blog too!
There are so many girls blogging about their weight loss journey... It's amazing!! And so many success stories.
I also will be blogging about my cooking skills.... and lack thereof. I need recipes. I need help.

My biggest problem right now is I started in June at 205 lbs. I now am approx 187 lbs. And it feels SO wonderful. I need so much further to go. I need to not be proud at something handed to me.
And I know, once my boyfriend (who a few years ago went from 430 lbs to 190 lbs) starts losing weight, I'm going to go insane with jealousy. I am so jealously competitive with men. It's a sickness.

Join me in my battle of motivation, diet, exercise, emotionality, cooking, & inner research.


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